Yesterday, I watched as Alton Sterling's son sobbed behind his mother, crying for his father who was taken from him in the blink of an eye. Today, Philando Castile's girlfriend is speaking out on her terrifying experience, all of which was witnessed by her 4 year old daughter who carried the burden of comforting her mother with a dead body in the car.
The news hit me hard yesterday. Maybe it was the young man crying on television, but more than that, the whole thing left me with a sense of impending doom. This violence can only lead to more violence. When will this end? Will it ever?
As a social worker, I want to understand. Racism is the easy, obvious answer but I feel there is more to it. What is it, in that single moment that causes a police officer to pull the trigger?
There are many beliefs about this issue, first, there's the "subhuman" argument or the belief that black males are seen by others as animals, less than human and therefore unworthy of the same regard given to others. This argument makes sense. If you regard someone as less than human you care nothing about what happens to them and may feel that your actions are justified.
Another argument is the "implicit criminal" argument; that racism and anti-black bias has led police officers to automatically assume that black males are up to no good; that they are "threatening" simply because of the color of their skin. Along those same lines is the concept of "threat perception failure" or the idea that stereotypes lead police to perceive a threat (e.g. a cell phone that "looked" like a gun) that may not be there when the person involved is black.
The arguments definitely have merit but I still don't get it.
We know that there are racist people of all occupations walking around every single day, police officers included. They are somehow reasonable enough to control their thoughts and feelings and go to work and interact with people from other cultures. They have the presence of thought to know that they need their jobs and their pensions and also that they (most likely) do not want to go to jail. Even if they don't give a crap about the life and family of their victim, why do they risk their own well-being to carry out an actual murder, when there are other alternatives and the only provocation is usually something they've been trained to handle. Where does the reason go when confronted with this situation? Is it because they know they will get away with it? Maybe. But with cell phone video and body cameras I still say its a risky gamble. I still think there's more to it.
A few years ago I was in a store where a little girl and her two younger sisters were buying milk for their morning cereal. Two police officers walked into the store; they were patrolling the neighborhood, taking the time to stop into places and say hello. When the officers walked in, the youngest of the three girls had an absolute meltdown, screaming and crying at the very sight of their uniforms. I had never seen her before and she ran into my arms, screaming for her mother because of the presence of police. I tried to console her but she was having none of it. The officers and I both left the store very shaken up by it. It still stands as one of the saddest things I've ever seen.
Another time, I saw a young boy about 7 walking down the street with his mother. When he came across two police officers in their car, he spoke to them, excited to see them in uniform and inspired by their positions. His mother, not so much. Right in front of the officers she told her son not to speak to them, that "you can't trust cops." Her son walked away dejected, his excitement replaced with confusion and sadness at the revelation that someone he looked up to was a bad guy. I was floored. But, is she right?
I worry about the safety of children who feel they can't trust police officers and what that means for their futures. I worry about good cops who become targets because of the actions of others and the notion that if one is bad, all are. I worry about mothers and sisters and brothers and fathers who have to rehearse instructions with their sons about how to interact with police. How scary it must be to be the mother of a son and have to worry not only about the thugs in the street but also about police who may operate from a frame of reference that pushes them to shoot first and ask questions later.
Last night, my husband and his brother went out after dark. I wondered then "what if?" What if they were stopped by police and one thing led to another and I never saw them again. It could happen to me just like it happened to the family of Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Eric Harris, Walter Scott, Michael Brown, Alton Sterling and Philando Castile.
I think that's the scariest part of it all.
